וְכׇל־הָעָם֩ רֹאִ֨ים אֶת־הַקּוֹלֹ֜ת וְאֶת־הַלַּפִּידִ֗ם וְאֵת֙ ק֣וֹל הַשֹּׁפָ֔ר וְאֶת־הָהָ֖ר עָשֵׁ֑ן וַיַּ֤רְא הָעָם֙ וַיָּנֻ֔עוּ וַיַּֽעַמְד֖וּ מֵֽרָחֹֽק׃
All the people saw the thunder and the lightning, the sound of the shofar and the mountain smoking. The people saw. They trembled and they stood back at a distance. (Exodus 20:15)
This verse speaks of the people “seeing” twice. The first time it makes it clear what the object of their seeing was – lightning and thunder and smoke. But what was this second seeing? Vayar ha’am. “The people saw.” What did they see?
The Sefat Emet suggests that this second seeing refers to a seeing of their own essence, that what they really saw in all that light, what was revealed to them in that moment was not something outside themselves, but actually their own Selves, who they really are, et atzmutam, their very essence.
In the glow of the intense light of the divine presence on Mount Sinai, what we are capable of seeing is not just God, but ourselves, our own divine essence. It is as if we are getting a God’s eye view of ourselves, seeing ourselves through God’s eyes, as if, as the Sefat Emet says, the Torah, which is compared to water, is like a reflective pool of water for us, helping us see our own divine aspect as it is mirrored back to us, helping us see the light in us that is a part of God’s light, helping us remember our original Source and find the eternal seed that was planted in us long ago – hayei olam nata betokheinu; God planted in us eternal life.
Sometimes we feel that we are so insignificant, so worthless, that we are not good enough and fundamentally don’t matter in the universe. In this moment of revelation at Sinai, we see how distorted this view is; these false beliefs crack open in the intensity of the revealed light and we can see the truth of our immense significance and value, each one of us a distinct sparkling piece of the divine.
Seeing our significance, our power, our immense potential and light takes courage. No wonder the Torah says that after the people “saw” – with no object other than themselves – they trembled and stood back a little. We are indeed often frightened of our own capacities, terrified to hear the call of God and to know the truth about ourselves as large and wondrous.
The rabbis say that at Sinai the people kept running backwards, and each time, there were angels to call them forward again, to gently whisper words of encouragement and support and to usher them into this new discovery of who they are and who they might become. May we have the courage to be led by these angels and to see and know who we really are this Shavu’ot.
Photo by sum+it at Pexels
