This, the second week of the Omer, is traditionally associated with the divine attribute of Gevurah, strength.
Gevurah is understood not as physical prowess, but as the kind of strength that involves restraint, limitation and judgment. It is considered a balancing force to the endless overflowing love of Chesed, which was the theme of last week’s Omer; while the love of Chesed is a boundless yes, the strength of Gevurah is the ability to set boundaries, to say enough, stop, no sometimes.
The rabbis have always understood that such strength is manifested not just externally, but also internally, towards ourselves and our own parts. Eizehu gibor? they ask – using that same gevurah root, gibor – Who is strong? Hakovesh et yitzro, one who conquers his own yetzer, his own [evil] impulse (Pirke Avot 4:1). Gevurah is strength turned inward.
Being In Charge of Yourself
In a minute we will return to how we might understand yetzer, but for now, I want to pause and consider the depiction here of strength as a matter of being in charge of yourself, or in IFS terms, self leadership. Strength means that you are the one who decides what matters and how you will proceed in life. You are not driven by your “impulses.” by fear or lack or trauma or the desire to avoid discomfort and pain. You stand tall and you decide. That is what it means to have the divine attribute of gevurah, to be in charge of your own system.
So often we are not in charge internally, and our system feels more like a classroom or a family of wild unruly children, a chaotic free for all, no boundaries, no limitations. In such an environment, we feel unsafe, shaky, unsettled, uncontained. And maybe into that leadership vacuum a bully or a taskmaster appears and rules with fear and harshness and overwork..
What does it feel like, on the other hand, when there is a strong teacher or parent in charge? Can you sense some relief and relaxing of tension? Finally, someone is in charge, someone that everyone respects and listens to, someone that is not mean or cruel, but kind and gentle in their leadership, and at the same time, firm, not allowing the bullies to get out of hand, setting limits when necessary, not as punishment but in the service of the children and their own growth.
We can be that gentle firm leader internally. We all have that capacity planted in us by God, the Gevurah, the divine strength of a warrior. Not because we are going to do war exactly, but because we need the kind of fierce strength of a warrior pose, our foot planted firmly behind us, anchoring us as we point our arm forward, deciding which direction to go, being the one who chooses. Not overwhelmed or blown about by circumstances or by the intensity of our parts’ emotions, but standing firmly in our place, knowing what we are about and directing the show. Maybe sensing that capacity in your body, rooted and unshakable, fierce and powerful, feeling yourself in such a stance and seeing how that feels to all the scared, confused, insecure parts of you, letting them see and feel your true God-given Gevurah, your capacity to lead.. You are not your feelings. You are the leader inside who tends to them.
Yetzer As Inner Bully
Eizehu gibor? Who is strong? One who conquers his yetzer. How do we understand this yetzer? I believe that there can be in us a kind of anti-life force, a subtle enslaving Pharaoh, an internal bully that keeps us small, and that this is the yetzer that we need to conquer. No doubt this force originally came about to protect us, but if it has gained a lot of power in our system, as often happens, then there is a real need to re-empower ourselves, to say no to that behavior and to be the one in charge again.
It is a matter of choice. Uvaharta bahayim, we are instructed. Choose life (Deuteronomy 30:19). Choose your own full potential of aliveness, your capacity to blossom and be who you are meant to be, to grow and spread your wings and fly and sing your one true song. So much inside and outside us stops us from following this divine route, from living into our true essence, our hayim. Anything that stands in the way, anything that takes us down, that makes us small, that keeps us enslaved to an idol like work or social approval, anything that takes us away from our path, that is the yetzer; we “conquer” it by noticing it, naming it and disempowering it.
Who is that inside you? Perhaps it takes the form of an inner critic who shames you, harping on what it imagines you did wrong, causing gnawing self doubt and insecurity, or an inner bully who terrorizes you with its constant stream of catastrophic imaginings about the future. Yes, bad things are happening. But spinning about them with dread is a form of internal torture designed to frighten you into submission and despair, much like the external bullies of the day. Owning your own power and aliveness is the antidote. Feeling your warrior stance strength and standing up to those internal (and external) bullies, however they manifest in you, taking back your power. You are not a victim, but an agent in your own life.
Our Power To Choose
One of our primary mechanisms of agency internally is the power to choose where to place our energy and attention. That is the judgment aspect of Gevurah, the capacity for discernment and choice, the capacity to say yes to this and no to that. We can’t control what happens, even inside us. Thoughts and emotions will appear, parts will do their thing. Our power of agency, our Gevurah, is the power of deciding where to focus, where to turn the flashlight of our attention, what to energize and empower inside us and what not to empower.
Perhaps imagining again the warrior stance, one foot straight back and the other bent forward with an arm stretched out in front of us. That arm points to what we choose to empower. Uvaharta bahayim. Choose life. Choose your soul, the pure little child in you who holds your essence, your true potential and destiny, not all the voices of should and guilt and obligation and expectation and criticism and fear, all the conditioned responses. Gevurah is the superpower of breaking through those habitual responses and making a different choice this time, a choice to live fully into yourself, to free yourself from the negative chatter and heavy obligations that have always stood in your way.. Can you feel that life affirming power in you? Don’t believe the nay-sayers. Be strong in yourself.
This choice takes on additional weight and urgency because of the limited nature of our time and energy in this life. These limitations are inherent in the Gevurah lens, the sense of our finitude and limitations, unlike the infinite overflow of Chesed (love). And precisely because of these limitations, we are compelled to claim our aliveness with fierceness, with Gevurah, to state staunchly: I have one life and this is what I stand for.
Your Unique Life
What does it mean for you to choose life? What truly matters to you? How can you align yourself with God, with your highest self, with your fullest divine potential? Only you can tell.
The choice will not be the same for each one of us. This is one of the struggles of Gevurah, the struggle to remain strong in yourself, in your own knowing of your truth, even if it differs significantly from those around you. There is a fierce claiming not just of any hayim, but of your individual hayim, your particular life path. This requires tremendous strength because the internal and external voices of conformity are a powerful yetzer in and of themselves, the pull to be like others and to be liked and approved by others, to do what is expected. Gevurah is the capacity to stand strong in our own knowing, as strong as a tree that knows exactly when and where to shoot out its next branch and blossom, not asking for permission to do its own thing. Gevurah is about developing the strength to trust ourselves and our own knowing, saying yes to that truth and also saying no to other equally compelling truths and paths that others try to push on us.
Aharon Models This Gevurah
Aharon in this week’s parsha models this Gevurah knowing. His two sons have been consumed by a divine fire, and later that day Moshe gets angry at him for not eating the sacrifices as he was commanded to. Aharon responds – with all that has happened to me today, would it be pleasing in God’s eyes to eat the sacrifices right now (Leviticus 10:16-20)? Aharon has the Gevurah to stand firm in what feels right inside him. We each have our own knowing of what is pleasing in God’s eyes, what is our true divine way, and sometimes, as here, it will contradict the established path set out by authorities. Do we follow those authorities or do we follow our own sense of what is pleasing to God?
Love as Foundational
I want to conclude by moving back for a moment to last week’s attribute of Chesed, of loving kindness. There is a reason that Chesed comes first, before Gevurah. Even the Gevurah work, the times we set limitations and are firm, even that work must always be done on a foundation of love and kindness. The parts in us that sometimes act like bullies, they, too, ultimately need our love. So even when we are setting boundaries, saying no to them and taking back our power, we are doing it out of love, from a deep well of divine love. Perhaps imagining your inner critic right now chattering away, attacking you; you assert yourself and take back your power, not believing its story, and at the same time you scoop that part up with one arm so it sits with you on your side, not letting it get out of hand. Instead of calling it out, you call it in, staying strong enough in yourself that there is room for it to be here and feel your love even as you set a boundary. Love and strength can work together inside you to create an atmosphere of safety and empowerment to follow your true divine path. Letting your system, all your parts and your whole body, feel that mix of divine love and power flow through you, relaxing in the sense of good internal leadership, with God’s support bolstering you.
Only Take What Resonates
As with Aharon, having the Gevurah to stay true to your own knowing sometimes involves saying no to what others on the outside say. When you read or listen to someone else’s wisdom, you don’t have to swallow it whole; you can discern what is yours to take in and what is not yours, at least not in this moment. So as we conclude, I invite you to make that discernment for yourself. What is yours to take from this essay and what is not, taking what resonates and leaving the rest, feeling empowered by Gevurah to trust your own inner compass.
Image by Leopictures from Pixabay
