(originally published in 2022)
The shelamim sacrifice has the unique feature of being consumed by three parties – the owner, the priests, and the altar (i.e. God). Rashi famously explains that this feature is what gives the sacrifice its name, as it brings shalom, peace, between these three participants (Vayikra 3:1).
To be at peace, in other words, to feel shalem, complete, is to be aligned in these three ways: inside yourself, in relation to others, and in relation to God. This is the triangle of wholeness and peace – self, other and God.
Which one of these facings is most difficult for us? For many of us growing up, the message was often – others come before you; serve others, not yourself; taking care of yourself is egocentric.
Such messages are subtle but impactful, especially when they take on the weight of religious morality, as if what the Torah teaches and what God wants of us is to deny ourselves in the service of others.
On this account, one might think that the gratitude offered by the todah, the thanksgiving offering, should be exclusively outward focused, that you can thank other people and you can thank God, but you cannot thank yourself.
Is this in fact the case? The todah is a type of shelamim. As such, it asks those who bring it not only to offer something to the priests and to God, but also to turn inward, toward oneself, and there, too, to offer tribute, to acknowledge oneself, too, as part of the good in this world.
This is not narcissism. Each of us is an entire world. Each of us is a creature of God. If I don’t matter – if my criteria for mattering as a human being created in God’s image are not sufficient – then no one matters. My mattering and your mattering, my essential worth and your essential worth, are linked to one another, and they are both linked to the God who created us. It is essential to thank and love and see the good in oneself just as one would thank and love and see the good in any other human being and in God. Committing suicide is equivalent to murder. If we do not honor ourselves, we dishonor others, as well as the God who made all of us.
Self, other and God comprise a three-legged stool of completeness, peace and alignment. Without any one of these, the stool falls. The three are inextricably linked. I have emphasized here the self leg because it is this leg which usually gets the least moral valence, and in fact is often viewed as immoral.
Love your neighbor as yourself. If I don’t know how to love myself, how will I know how to love another human being? The entire Torah assumes – and depends upon – the cultivation of a love of self.
There is something utopian about the shelamim sacrifice, about this reaching for perfect alignment between self, other and God. Both shalom, peace, and shalem, completeness, are qualities of the future, of messianic times, and also of Shabbat, our taste of that future perfection. In our daily lives, in order to move towards this sense of peace and completeness, we might need to change our thinking about what is moral and what is immoral, and to begin to include self in the circle of love and thanksgiving.
