What does chametz (the leavened bread forbidden on Passover) represent spiritually and emotionally, and what does it mean to look for it, to burn it and to get rid of it?
The Hasidic master Mei Hashiloach uses the words siyg, “dross” or “impurity,” and pesolet, “waste product,” to explain what it is we are aiming at inside us when we look for chametz – something that does not belong, that is no longer serving us, that impedes our growth and wholeness. Just as we have physical waste products, we also have spiritual waste products which need to be released.
What are your spiritual waste products, beliefs or ideas about yourself and the world that no longer serve you well, that cause you suffering and stop you from turning to yourself in love and from being whole and free and “pure” in your essence?
In IFS, such waste products are known as ‘burdens,” ideas that parts of us took on unconsciously, often at a young age, from an external source. These burdens weigh our parts down, causing great suffering and making them act in extreme ways. Some examples of burdens might be the false beliefs that “I am never safe” or “I don’t deserve compassion” or “Something is wrong with me” or “I don’t matter.” These beliefs are difficult to shake – they have invaded the system and seem true. Such burdens tend to stop you from turning fully toward yourself with kindness and from being true to your fullest essence and potential.
So on Pesach, as we return to our bare bones essence in matzah – the most minimal and purest designation of bread and of self – we have an opportunity to see what “extras” have invaded our system, to see how they are harming us and to get rid of them from our bodies just as we get rid of chametz from our homes.
The first step is the search – bedikat chametz – the search in the dark inner world using a candle to shine light into the corners and under the furniture, to really examine and see clearly – what needs to be here, and what might I profitably let go of this year? Do I really need to hold on to this limiting belief about myself? How is it serving me, other than to force me to constantly puff myself up – like a piece of chametz – a futile and neverending attempt to fill the bottomless pit of need that results from this burden? What if I just let it go? Is it possible to just be me as I am and know that that is enough, to really believe I am enough, lovable, worthwhile as my bare bones matzah self?
The first step is seeing and identifying the burden. The next step is bi’ur, getting rid of it, removing it entirely from the system. As with chametz, this release and removal may take several tries and methods. You can imagine the burden being cleared out of your house as you clean, or burned up in the fire with your chametz or evaporated into nothingness like the dust of the earth, floating out of you and dropping down into the earth.
It isn’t easy to let go of these burdens. But it is worth asking yourself this Pesach: what are the false beliefs i have been dragging around inside me that are really just dross, waste product, extra like chametz, beliefs I would do well, this year, to try to let go of and release back into the earth with my chametz? Pesach is a holiday of redemption; it turns out that redemption requires release in addition to – and as an essential part of the process of – stepping into something new, a new version and a new possibility of ourselves.
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